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How couples can play equal roles on different incomes

Finding ways both people in a relationship can financially play an equal part can be tricky. Here are some ways couples with different incomes can approach this.

4 minute read

When couples combine finances, the ups (like a pay rise) and the downs (like a job loss), mean financial changes can impact both people.

First things first: talk to each other

Financial responsibility is often not as easy as a quick 50/50 split. You might earn less, they might have more debt, you have a student loan, they pay child support. The best thing to do is make sure you talk through it together. Start by making a list of your individual incomes and expenses, from there you can begin to form a plan on how to best manage your finances.

Arguing over finances can cause relationships to break down, so creating a plan upfront and being open and honest is key to establishing a healthy foundation for your financial success as a couple. If you need help with communication or problem solving, speaking to a financial adviser could help reduce the stress and get you on the same page faster.  

Distributing incomes

How you divide your expenses and incomes between one another comes down to your individual relationship and what works best between you as a couple. Here are a few ways people tackle this task:

50/50

If you’re someone who likes the idea of being on one team, but still prefer to maintain your financial independence, keeping some accounts with your own assets separate could be a good idea.

Start by determining which bills will be tackled together, like utilities, rent/mortgage payments, groceries etc, and which belong to the individual, like personal debt, child support, student loan repayments etc. By creating a joint bank account, and each contributing the same amount to the joint bank account, you can then both contribute 50% of the total expenses each week or month, while still keeping your personal accounts and personal expenses separate.

This way you have autonomy over your individual day-to-day spending, while both equally pulling your weight with the bills.

Proportional

Often, couples with obvious differences in their pay, recognise that ‘fair’ doesn’t necessarily mean equal numbers. If you’re earning more than your partner, you could be playing a bigger role.

To figure out how much you should each be contributing, do some maths on expenses, then add salary into the equation. A simple way to do this is by adding up your shared expenses to find the total shared expenses. Then you add both incomes together, and workout each person’s proportion of your combined income. For example:

Person one earns $55,700
Person two earns $33,650
The combined income is: $55,700 + $33,650 = $89,350
Person one’s proportion of the income is: ($55,700 ÷ $89,350) x 100 = 62%
Person two’s proportion of the income is: $33,650 ÷ $89,350) x 100 = 38%

This example would mean Person one contributes 62% of the shared expenses, and Person two contributes 38%. By using this method, if you go through a pay rise or pay loss you can easily re-calculate proportions and the financial responsibility will continue to be fairly split.

All in

‘All in’ means that all checking and savings accounts are combined and each person plays an active role within the financial relationship. In terms of the day-to-day expenses, you should share the responsibility and always have oversight of each other’s activities, and both of you should be active in planning for a joint financial future.

This technique works best when two people are on the same page with how they want to spend and manage their money both with the current day-to-day and future expenses management. Plus, it allows for complete transparency with how money is moving. 

Having the right technique figured out doesn’t mean you should leave it be and hope for the best. You and your partner should have regular finance chats between yourselves. This gives you the chance to identify where you can spend more and what you should cut back on.

There are many ways to successfully combine finances, even when your salaries are radically different. Only you as a couple can determine what will work for you, but a bit of trial and error may be necessary before you can establish your ideal financial flow.

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This article is solely for information purposes and is not intended to be financial advice. If you need help, please contact BNZ or your financial adviser. Neither BNZ nor any person involved in the material accepts any liability for any direct or indirect loss or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance on, all or any part of the content.